pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
