If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
