would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
