Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
