Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
