Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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