Someone shit on the floor
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
