the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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