have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
please come you make the beer taste better
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
