My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize