We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
