$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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