so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
