Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
