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Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
