I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
