I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
