god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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