Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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