just tell him i said nine months
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
