God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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