If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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