He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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