She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
