Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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