well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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