I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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