What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
