Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
