K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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