Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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