you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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