God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
