We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
