Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
