How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
