You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
