My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
