now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
