All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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