pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
