i wish my penis had a tongue
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize