Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
