who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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