he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
