Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
