People in love make me want to vomit
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
