I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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