Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
