oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
