You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
